Gay Characters in otherwise Straight Movies Checklist.

Gay Characters in otherwise Straight Movies Checklist:

  1. Gay character is clinically depressed but still manages to entertain everyone by bursting out in song and dance. Extra points for using a song that gay people generally don’t like but straight people are embarrassed to admit they do. A good example of this would be the closeted gay brother in The Breakup making everyone at a dinner table sing “Owner Of A Lonely Heart” or the open gay best friend making everyone sing “Say A Little Prayer” in My Best Friend’s Wedding. Even if the character is alone, audience can be the defacto straight people laughing at the faggot like in “In and Out.”
  2. Gay character must appear in drag at least once. Failing this, must snap their fingers or give a really prissy laugh at something that isn’t really that funny.
  3. Gay character must let straight acquaintance pressure him into some manly sporting activity so we can laugh at what a wuss and how non-athletic he is. (In this case, mountain climbing)
  4. Gay character preferably lives in Los Angeles or other gay Mecca but has a failed love life and career.
  5. Should contain scene where Gay character bursts into tears. He appears weak for doing so.
  6. Must contain scene where straight person burst into tears and is supported by gay character who cheers them up with very wise, insightful comments and Chicken Soup for the Soul. Still somehow manages to be the weak one in this interaction.
  7. Gay character can’t be too good looking or in very good shape. Preferably juxtaposed by much more fit and attractive straight guy.
  8. We must spend most of our time laughing at or feeling sorry for gay character.
  9. If movie was shot before 2001, movie must end with gay character either being diagnosed with or dying of HIV.
  10. Folk Rock song over end credits.
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