That Awkward Moment.

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That awkward moment when you and your 6 other male motorcycle riding, leather-wearing friends all go into a Lush to buy skincare products together and the sales girl excitedly tells you about the new product launch they’re having the following week, trying to get you excited with “there’ll be naked ladies here.” After a blank look that lasts a good 10 seconds, the other sales person leans over and whispers in her ear what I can only guess is “you idiot, this is a group of 6 gay men buying massage bars and facial masks for what’s going to end up a big fur pile party by the end of the night and they’re not interested in naked ladies.”

And then you continue your blank look.

The Real Reason MTV Doesn’t Play Music Videos Anymore.

Yeah, I also miss the old days when you’d just leave the music station playing (for me it was Much Music, Canada’s music station) while you went about your day. You’d just have it on. You’d study, do your dishes, chat with your friends, read magazines… anything. If a song came on that you really loved, you’d watch but if not, you’d just let it play and occasionally look up to see what Madonna was wearing or who was interviewing Duran Duran.

Those days are gone.

Like all our entertainment, music is now something that we get on demand. We don’t let others program it for us, we watch what we want on Youtube or Hulu or Vemo. We make our own playlists or scroll down Facebook to see what our friends “liked.”

There’s no need for a music station and if there was… there would be one. They didn’t stop showing videos because they wanted to serve up shitty reality shows, they stopped showing videos because it was clear that when they played music, people turned it off and only watched when it was those horrible reality shows. That’s why.

He’s also right that it was that generation who pioneered Napster and Limewire and Torrents who stole the music. And it’s not just music. It baffles me how many people will tell me that they love my movies and watch them on some pirate porn site for free. They’ll sometimes gush about how much they love my movies and then laugh at how they don’t pay for them. I’ll give them a blank look and say “you realize that I have to pay my crew, my performers, I have to pay for flights, food, locations, editors, distribution and… maybe telling me that you love what I do but think it’s funny that you don’t think I deserve to pay my rent isn’t a way to endear yourself to me.

Anyway… I love Cracked, I love this video and yeah… I miss the days when music videos were art and not just places to sell cell phones and gadgets to people.

Anderson Cooper can’t say “Vagina.” So we have that in common.

Ok so… as you all know, I have directed gay porn movies for about 8 years. 10 if you count me producing live shows.

What some of you may NOT know is that while I was directing the Cocksure Men line for Jake Cruise… I also directed quite a few straight porn scenes for our “sister site” SG4GE (Straight Guys For Gay Eyes).

Anyway…

While I did that work for about 4 years… I never ONCE used a word for… that part of the female anatomy. I could use verbs like “lick” or “tongue” or “finger” but I could never actually assign a word to that particular body part.

And once while trying to get a proper under shot… I actually touched one with the back of my hand. I finished the shot, got up… ran to the green room, washed my hand and came back on set. Everyone laughed. They understood.

 

So Anderson…even though I’m sure you’d deny ever meeting me if we ever did…. just know that I feel your pain.

“Vagina” is also not “in my wheelhouse.”